Where can this be improved?

Posted on 11 июня, 2009. Filed under: wow |

Question:

Words Of Regret

Written

By

Christian S. Passen

I wouldn’t want to say something that could be used against me later. I wouldn’t want to say something and have it misunderstood, or taken the wrong way. So I thought it would be best to not speak at all. However, lately my words, even if unsaid, still affect me.

Such bold words to be saying for someone such as yourself. Who are you to say the words that you do? What makes you think that you have the right to speak your mind? Honestly, who do you think you are? What makes you feel you can write down words so powerful and intense, why do you feel you have the right? What makes you think you’re so special? Who are you to think you deserve what you hope for? Why do you feel you can make your dreams come true. Do you feel just because you write out your thoughts that it will mean something to someone? Honestly, that’s downright pathetic, you arrogant asshole.

Are you doing it again, wow, I can’t believe you’re so unbelievably stubborn. Don’t lift up that pen, put it down, stop thinking about her and put out your flame of desire! ******* emotions! Why the **** would you listen to these voices that only speak lies. You should know by now, all they do is deceive you and turn you towards a path of pain and suffering. Look at me, I said look at me you son of a *****, look at me dead in the eye and face what lies right infront of you. Don’t look away, don’t think you can run. This is your battle, now face it you ******* coward!

You pathetic waste of life, you picked up that pen, didn’t you? You wrote the words that you knew would change your fate forever. I hope your happy, you just opened the gateway to depression and allowed her to light the path. Congratulations. Now those words you wrote, the same words that you were so proud of, the very words you wished to speak but didn’t have the ability to express without fear of their outcome. Yes, the same words that you couldn’t stop smiling about, they will soon bring you down. They will cut you up from the inside out, they will play through your mind like a song on repeat. You will try to block them out, but you can’t they’re everywhere! When you close your eyes, you see them in your dreams, they dwell in the back of your head, they have made themselves comfortable resting in your dark depressed mind.

You won’t be able to escape them. They are scarred into your very soul. The ink that bled from the pen onto the paper shall stain your hands with constant reminders of pain and loss. You’ll lift your hands up to cover your eyes and cry but the words will sink into your face and will leave an imprint on your forehead and everytime you look in the mirror, you will see them jumping out at you in bold quotations. You must be proud of your words now?

What baffles my mind is, how can you be proud of something that mocks you daily and never ceases to laugh in your face. These words that you claim to be so proud of shall spit at you with disgust. You created the very thing that will introduce you to your downfall. By writing these words, you hoped to escape the illusion of reality and find an inner peace within yourself, but failed to complete that task. Knowing that bothers you beyond comprehension, this is not what you planned or what you intended. It is however, pure truth.

As hard as it is, you must face this truth. On the inside you are dying, why, dare I say it again? Some things are better left unsaid and unwritten, but you had to be stubborn and write them down anyway. You did this to yourself. You can’t live with regrets, you you continue to create them for your future. From this point on, you must live with yourself, knowing that. If there is one thing you’ve learned from this, I pray to G-d that you learned at least something, but if anything, “Words are mans deadliest weapon, use them wisely.”

6/9/9